Before anyone gets up in arms, I must state that I am fully qualified to talk about this subject. Having spent my entire adolescent and adult life with the natural affliction, I feel it is time to speak out.

Just think about fashion and big boobs. I have never seen this elusive combination. It is a paradox, which defies comprehension. Let’s face it, augmented big boobs images are only fashionable if you are under twenty-five and refrain from wearing real clothes.

The last time I was able to wear a blouse that fit properly, I was ten years old. I think I portray the average moderately endowed American woman. I do not qualify for boob reduction; however, I am not small enough to wear a properly fitting blouse!

Many of my amply endowed sisters and I suffer from a disorder called, “Gaposis syndrome.” Designers and clothing manufacturers have not been able to find the cure. Gaposis is when you discover that you can barely button the one or two buttons at the bust line and yet, the blouse fits perfectly in every other way.

You are left with a gaping, stretching piece of fabric across the bust line in an otherwise great fitting piece of clothing. In other words, the gap in the blouse gives you “gaposis.” Apparently, clothing manufacturers are unable to account for the extra five cents worth of fabric it would take to create a proper fit.

I feel as though my natural big boobs are a curse in a world where implants reign supreme! Perhaps, if I was elderly I could find a shapeless, large blouse to cover my large boobs, but I am not elderly! Guess I will have to decide between t-shirts or pasties.